Gag Criticism, Variation, and Packaging

[bandaches]

That's too good. How much thought did you put into that?

I'll admit this one took me several minutes and some wikipedia digging to give me ideas as it was a hard one to spoof.  Most of the others are the first thing that comes to mind.

[bigtomi]

They could've at least come up with something better than "seedy"..

Actually, I think this one is more clever than most, as "seedy" ties in well with "slum", as in "those slums are definitely in the seedy part of town".

[NationalSpittoon]

Actually, I think this one is more clever than most, as "seedy" ties in well with "slum", as in "those slums are definitely in the seedy part of town".

Yes but only people thinking about it are going to get the clever part of the gag.

[Jean Nutty]

Actually, I think this one is more clever than most, as "seedy" ties in well with "slum", as in "those slums are definitely in the seedy part of town".

I agree. I think that's a great gag

I assume the slum maid is wearing top made from a flour sack.

She should have been serving something more appropriate, such as instant ramen, white bread, and soda pop.   And cigarettes.


   

[sco(o)t]

The "plate" appears to be an homage to the old cartoon stereotype  of a meal picked from a trash can served on an upside down  trash can lid ala TOP CAT.  I have always thought this was a pretty solid Wacky in terms of gag and execution.

[NationalSpittoon]

I guess seedy also of course works in the "close to the original word" category, but "shady" raisins is good too.

[bigtomi]

Yes but only people thinking about it are going to get the clever part of the gag.

Which is what makes it clever.

[bandaches]

The "plate" appears to be an homage to the old cartoon stereotype  of a meal picked from a trash can served on an upside down  trash can lid ala TOP CAT.  I have always thought this was a pretty solid Wacky in terms of gag and execution.

I agree, I think this gag is well done and the only one in our set so far.

If I were to come up with my own, I was going with
Sun Fade
Dried up Raisins

With the art being a box of full of sun scorched gasping raisins.

[NationalSpittoon]

Diecuts #7 - Spray Nit

Helene Cootie's
Spray Nit
Hair infester
Puts life in your scalp
Price 4 nits

Real product
Helene Curtis
Spray Net

[sco(o)t]

Diecuts #7 - Spray Nit

Helene Cootie's
Spray Nit
Hair infester
Puts life in your scalp
Price 4 nits

Real product
Helene Curtis
Spray Net

IMO, another strong Wacky title with good gags and artwork. Nits, of course, being Lice eggs. The Curtis/Cooties is a nice play on words that dovetails into the critters theme on this one. "Puts life in your scalp"... nice.  My only suggested improvement would be replace scalp with hair since hair product advertising focuses on "life" and "volume" of hair. 

[Jean Nutty]

The "plate" appears to be an homage to the old cartoon stereotype  of a meal picked from a trash can served on an upside down  trash can lid ala TOP CAT.

Ah, I never realized that! Excellent. I always thought the "serving tray" was a bit large.

[NationalSpittoon]

The Spray Nit gag is pretty good.

[bandaches]

IMO, another strong Wacky title with good gags and artwork. Nits, of course, being Lice eggs. The Curtis/Cooties is a nice play on words that dovetails into the critters theme on this one. "Puts life in your scalp"... nice.  My only suggested improvement would be replace scalp with hair since hair product advertising focuses on "life" and "volume" of hair. 

I feel the  Helene Cooties is unnecessary and clutters up the gag.  I think the gag writers got lost a bit in feeling they needs to rhyme or use every word on the product.   Otherwise pretty strong gag.

[NationalSpittoon]

Diecuts #8 - Lavirus

Lavirus
_R
Mouthwash and gurgle
More dentists recommend Lavirus because it brings patients

Real Product
Lavoris
Mouthwash and Gargle
More dentists use Lavoris
than any other mouthwash

I really think this is a strong card not just because of the artwork, but also the gag. One thing I don't like is that the gag says "Because it brings patients" that shouldn't be brought up in my opinion, it makes it a very long joke when it could've been shorter. Other than that, I really like this gag and card.

[bandaches]

Diecuts #8 - Lavirus

Lavirus
_R
Mouthwash and gurgle
More dentists recommend Lavirus because it brings patients

Real Product
Lavoris
Mouthwash and Gargle
More dentists use Lavoris
than any other mouthwash

I really think this is a strong card not just because of the artwork, but also the gag. One thing I don't like is that the gag says "Because it brings patients" that shouldn't be brought up in my opinion, it makes it a very long joke when it could've been shorter. Other than that, I really like this gag and card.

Changing gargle to gurgle is of no value and hurts the gag, if mouthwash could be used, then leave Gargle in there.  I think it should "doctors recommend" as Dentists don't deal with Virus's.

[sco(o)t]

Diecuts #8 - Lavirus

Lavirus
_R
Mouthwash and gurgle
More dentists recommend Lavirus because it brings patients

Real Product
Lavoris
Mouthwash and Gargle
More dentists use Lavoris
than any other mouthwash

I really think this is a strong card not just because of the artwork, but also the gag. One thing I don't like is that the gag says "Because it brings patients" that shouldn't be brought up in my opinion, it makes it a very long joke when it could've been shorter. Other than that, I really like this gag and card.

How about a change up on the tag line to be... "More morticians recommend Lavirus
than any other mouthwash" 

[Gurgle]

"Recommended by dentists who want more patients"

Diecuts #8 - Lavirus

Lavirus
_R
Mouthwash and gurgle
More dentists recommend Lavirus because it brings patients

Real Product
Lavoris
Mouthwash and Gargle
More dentists use Lavoris
than any other mouthwash

I really think this is a strong card not just because of the artwork, but also the gag. One thing I don't like is that the gag says "Because it brings patients" that shouldn't be brought up in my opinion, it makes it a very long joke when it could've been shorter. Other than that, I really like this gag and card.

[NationalSpittoon]

Diecuts #9 - Paul Maul

Paul Maul
Peculiar Cigarettes
Wherever peculiar people congregate
In hock shops everywhere

Real product
Pall Mall
Famous Cigarettes
Wherever particular people congregate
In Hoc Signo Vinces

[bandaches]

"Recommended by dentists who want more patients"

Isn't the core of the spoof, the "virus" part of Lavirus?  Why Dentists over Doctors? How many dentists get patients due to virus?

[bandaches]

How about a change up on the tag line to be... "More morticians recommend Lavoris
than any other mouthwash" 

I don't think the actual product name is allowed to be anywhere in the gag.

[bandaches]

Diecuts #9 - Paul Maul

Paul Maul
Peculiar Cigarettes
Wherever peculiar people congregate
In hock shops everywhere

Real product
Pall Mall
Famous Cigarettes
Wherever particular people congregate
In Hoc Signo Vinces

Has to be some 1960's inside joke that kids couldn't possible get.  Other than Paul Maul being notorious for being short printed in series 1 and being an original diecut title, this is a complete bomb in my book.

How about:
Paul Mall
Famous Vinettes
Where people named Paul Congregate
In Cigarette packs

The art would be cigarettes with people's faces such as Paul McCartney, Paul Newman, Paul Revere

[NationalSpittoon]

Has to be some 1960's inside joke that kids couldn't possible get.  Other than Paul Maul being notorious for being short printed in series 1 and being an original diecut title, this is a complete bomb in my book.

How about:
Paul Mall
Famous Vinettes
Where people named Paul Congregate
In Cigarette packs

The art would be cigarettes with people's faces such as Paul McCartney, Paul Newman, Paul Revere

Originates in Pauland.

[bandaches]

Originates in Pauland.

[Gurgle]

True, but I understand sticking with "dentists" because that was part of the Lavoris slogan and dentists would recommend a mouthwash over a doctor. In my mind, it can give you a virus as cause lots of damage to your mouth.

These were aimed at kids, and as a kid, I LOVED this title.
To me, this one was a roaring success.

Isn't the core of the spoof, the "virus" part of Lavirus?  Why Dentists over Doctors? How many dentists get patients due to virus?

[Gurgle]

This one shows a tendency to make slight changes. Change "particular" to "peculiar." (Which I really like.) Change "hoc" to "hock." The art is designed to be almost passable as the real product, unless you take a second glance.

This title never did much for me as a kid, but I appreciate it more as an adult for some reason. I used to think it looked plain, but now I think the subtle characters look goofy and funny. Or maybe I'm swayed by the fact that it's harder to find!

Diecuts #9 - Paul Maul

Paul Maul
Peculiar Cigarettes
Wherever peculiar people congregate
In hock shops everywhere

Real product
Pall Mall
Famous Cigarettes
Wherever particular people congregate
In Hoc Signo Vinces

[Paul_Maul]

I can only speak for myself, but I could not have cared less about gag quality as a kid. I was drawn to the realistic packaging art, the characters, and anything that looked cool and unique. I loved the cigarette titles just because there was something different about them.

[bandaches]

I can only speak for myself, but I could not have cared less about gag quality as a kid. I was drawn to the realistic packaging art, the characters, and anything that looked cool and unique. I loved the cigarette titles just because there was something different about them.

I agree that the total gag didn't make or break it as a kid yet every kid in the neighborhood knew about Mrs Klean's desire to wipe the floor with Mr. Klean and annoyed our teachers by chewing bubble gum in class.  Gag's were way more than a 0% influence for my whole gang.

[RawGoo]

I can only speak for myself, but I could not have cared less about gag quality as a kid. I was drawn to the realistic packaging art, the characters, and anything that looked cool and unique. I loved the cigarette titles just because there was something different about them.

The realistic packaging drew me in, too, but I also preferred the ones that had great gags to boot.  I think that's why I so liked Awful Bits and Cap'n Crud - not only did they capture the boxes, there were really funny gags about products we actually had in the house!  Ajerx too - really looked like the can, and had that wonderful character.  Although the gag eluded me on Blunder, it looked just like my beloved Wonder Bread, and that guy was so darn goofy!  I wore my Blunder t-shirt until it was threadbare.

My parents didn't smoke, so I mostly only saw cigarette packages behind the counter, but that was enough for me to really like Camals!

[bandaches]

I can only speak for myself, but I could not have cared less about gag quality as a kid. I was drawn to the realistic packaging art, the characters, and anything that looked cool and unique. I loved the cigarette titles just because there was something different about them.

I think you will find this thread to be frustrating since it is titled and has been about critiquing the gags.

[Paul_Maul]

I was only six when the 1st series came out, so I may have been too young to really think much about the gags.

[Paul_Maul]

I think you will find this thread to be frustrating since it is titled and has been about critiquing the gags.

Seems like an appropriate place to discuss how important gags are to you. But I have nothing further to add so I'll leave you to it.

[bandaches]

The realistic packaging drew me in, too, but I also preferred the ones that had great gags to boot.  I think that's why I so liked Awful Bits and Cap'n Crud - not only did they capture the boxes, there were really funny gags about products we actually had in the house!  Ajerx too - really looked like the can, and had that wonderful character.  Although the gag eluded me on Blunder, it looked just like my beloved Wonder Bread, and that guy was so darn goofy!  I wore my Blunder t-shirt until it was threadbare.

My parents didn't smoke, so I mostly only saw cigarette packages behind the counter, but that was enough for me to really like Camals!

And we ALL remembered the wacky titles which of course is part of the gag,I doubt we ever said the word "hostess" in our house after seeing Hostage cupcakes.  Peanuts have always been  "Plastered".  We loved calling everything Dopey Whip and that sure isn't one the best art pieces.

[bandaches]

Seems like an appropriate place to discuss how important gags are to you. But I have nothing further to add so I'll leave you to it.

Me and the others playing along. I think you have a lot to offer as you are a bright guy but if you don't find any fun in redoing the original gags, so be it!

[Gurgle]

I've always thought Camals was a great sight gag with the upside down camel. And also spot on in taking on cigarettes. The rest of the text didn't matter much to me, including the meaningless title, because it was both powerful (cigarettes will kill you) and funny (camel balancing on its hump.)

But, yeah, Awful Bits and especially Cap'n Crud ruled. Cap'n Crunch was one of my fave cereals at the time and the sticker has such a great character. "Inside: Real Pirate!" struck me as funny.

But maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves...

The realistic packaging drew me in, too, but I also preferred the ones that had great gags to boot.  I think that's why I so liked Awful Bits and Cap'n Crud - not only did they capture the boxes, there were really funny gags about products we actually had in the house!  Ajerx too - really looked like the can, and had that wonderful character.  Although the gag eluded me on Blunder, it looked just like my beloved Wonder Bread, and that guy was so darn goofy!  I wore my Blunder t-shirt until it was threadbare.

My parents didn't smoke, so I mostly only saw cigarette packages behind the counter, but that was enough for me to really like Camals!

[Gurgle]

Although I was older when I started collecting, I had some of that in me, too. Only years later did I realize there were some stickers where I didn't even read the whole thing! And I always loved a good gag!

I can only speak for myself, but I could not have cared less about gag quality as a kid. I was drawn to the realistic packaging art, the characters, and anything that looked cool and unique. I loved the cigarette titles just because there was something different about them.