Author Topic: Baked Bears' "Wordy" Packages  (Read 7937 times)

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Offline Baked Bears

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Baked Bears' "Wordy" Packages
« Reply #70 on: July 02, 2017, 08:39:48 AM »
New (or Old School or "Wicked Packages") possibility...

"Squirtles" or "Turdles" (Parody of "Squirmles".)

Package backing features a comical, smiling brown poo "snake."  Instead of the drinking glass, a small white toilet is featured.  A Squirtle is leaping dolphin-like out of the bowl, preceded by two others, along with the respective words: "Jumps! Flips! Splats!".  Inside the plastic packaging are two other Squirtles curled up poo emoji style.

"Magically Moves Bowels!"

"New! Baby Poo Poo!"

"Warning: Choking Hazard"




« Last Edit: July 03, 2017, 07:39:10 AM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Baked Bears' "Wordy" Packages
« Reply #71 on: July 02, 2017, 07:28:06 PM »
Possibility...

"Dis K'Nex" Scream 'I Repent!' Runaway Roller Coaster  (Parody of "K-Nex" Screaming Serpent Roller Coaster.)



Box features section of crude, jerry-rigged, half-constructed roller coaster.  Sections of track are plainly missing, and the terrified occupants in the cars are hurtling into open space to their doom.  Bolts of lightning in the background are striking sections of the roller coaster framework, as well as one of the occupants (thereby revealing his or her glowing, electrified skeleton.)  Although nasty looking already, the green serpent could be more demonic or satanic looking, with the words "Scream 'I Repent!'" printed directly below.

"Over 6 Feet Wide to Put You 6 Feet Under!"

"Realistic Cracking Sounds and Screams!"

"Hopelessly Confusing Demolition System"
« Last Edit: July 02, 2017, 07:31:16 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Baked Bears' "Wordy" Packages
« Reply #72 on: July 02, 2017, 07:55:41 PM »
"Wicked Packages" possibility...

(MultiModels) "Super Erection Set"  (Parody of "Erector Super Construction Set".)



Box features an erector crane model.  Just add a pair of wheels or pulleys at the front base of the boom and, well, you get the idea.



"Great for Physic(s) Projects and After School Clubs!"

"69 Models"

"Comes with 6 Volt Vibrating Motor"
« Last Edit: July 02, 2017, 07:58:47 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #73 on: July 07, 2017, 06:07:15 AM »
Possibility...

"Automaton SteamPunk" Victorian Medley Vegetables (Parody of "Swanson SteamFresh" Asian Medley Vegetables.)

Bag features plate of metal (brass, copper, gold, iron) "steampunk" vegetables.  Some of have patterns of rivets, others are shaped like thick gears, etc..  Alongside the plate is a mechanical, steampunk rabbit(s) (perhaps holding a small metal carrot.)  The word "steampunk" is rendered in riveted letters.

"Perfectly Rusts in the Bag!"

"Great Source of Iron and Metal Shavings!"

"Lightly Machine Oiled"

Net Wt: Heavy Metal






« Last Edit: August 26, 2017, 06:17:48 AM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #74 on: July 07, 2017, 10:25:20 AM »
Possibility...

"Billy-O Kid's String-Em-Up Cheese"  (Parody of "Polly-O String Cheese.")

Bag features a vulture in (upper right corner) perched on a gnarled branch wearing a cowboy hat, gun holster, and spurs.  On the left hand side of the bag is a tall, scraggly bare tree with a skeleton hanging from it.  The hanging rope is made of lengths of string cheese knotted together.  Although the body has turned into a skeleton, it still has ragged "outlaw" clothes - black cowboy hat, shirt, boots, etc. - hanging from it (similar to tattered clothes one might find on a zombie or Robinson Crusoe castaway.)  If space permits, 2 or 3 wolves or coyotes could be sitting in a loose circle, begging and waiting for a loose bone to fall.

"100% Reduced Fat"

"Meet-Your-Maker Cheese" (Instead of "mozzarella cheese.")

"12 Scavenger Snacks"



On the tree trunk could be a tacked poster:  "Wanted: Cheddar Alive"
« Last Edit: July 07, 2017, 04:14:33 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #75 on: July 07, 2017, 04:49:05 PM »
Possibility...

"Grandma Gust's Windblown Tornado Chips"  (Parody of "Grandma Utz's Handcooked Potato Chips.")

Bag features a large tornado (beginning on upper right hand side, then snaking down to the lower left.)  Several larger-than-life potato chips are being whipped wildly around the funnel.  "Riding" the potato chips are various people, animals, and other ridiculous things: a boy and his dog, a girl with a kitten tucked under one arm, a barnyard pig, a potted flower, an outhouse, a roasted Thanksgiving turkey, a can of Pepsi, and a smiling poop emoji.  (The 8 - 10 year old crowd would like that.  There is nothing quite like poop on a potato chip caught in a twister.)  The boy and the girl are smiling and waving to people (with windblown hair and clothes) on the ground below who are also smiling and waving back in return.  In the center, Grandma Gust is carrying a tray with a mini spiraling twister on it.  Strands of her hair have come loose from her bun and are also being blown back.

"The Crunchy Taste Will Blow You Away!"

"Also Available in 'Spicy Pepper Jack Breeze' "

"Re-Gale in the Flavor!"

"They'll Sweep You Off Your Feet!"


« Last Edit: August 26, 2017, 06:20:56 AM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #76 on: July 07, 2017, 05:08:37 PM »
Possibility...

"Lion Tamers" 'Utterly Dumb' Head Candy  (Parody of "Life Savers" 'Butter Rum' Hard Candy.)

Bag depicts a sitting lion with his smiling mouth wide open.  Inside is a lion tamer's decapitated amber candy head.  (Being a life saver) the lion tamer's head also has its mouth open in a perfect "O" of horror.

"The Candy with Bite!  (We ain't lion!)"




« Last Edit: July 07, 2017, 05:14:00 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #77 on: July 07, 2017, 05:42:22 PM »
Possibility...

"Dr. Monty's Spiced Leeches" in Heavy Sewage  (Parody of "Del Monte Sliced Peaches" in Heavy Syrup.)

Label depicts anthropomorphic peaches (with horrified human faces) covered in parasitic brown leeches and resting in murky pond water.

"Brown Clinging Leeches in Heavy Sewage"






« Last Edit: August 20, 2017, 07:40:11 AM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #78 on: July 08, 2017, 09:25:33 AM »
"Wicked Packages" possibility...

"Liquorig" (L'Kuerig?) Party Pack  (Parody of "Keurig" Variety Pack.)

Carton features happy, yet tipsy, bleary-eyed and intoxicated pink elephant holding a clear pod/shot glass with a straw (and little umbrella) protruding from the top, as well as an assortment of circular pod labels naming different "fancy-sounding" alcoholic beverages, such as:

- "Summer Watermelon Margarita"
- "Breakfast Blended Whiskey"
- "Happy Hour Pink Martini"
- "After Dinner Spicy Peach Brandy"
- "2 AM - Last Call"
- "Metropolitan Manhattan"
- "Strawberry Daiquiri"

(Contents) "72 Two Finger Shots"

"Home - Office - On the Go!"


« Last Edit: July 08, 2017, 05:30:19 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #79 on: July 09, 2017, 06:25:13 PM »
Possibility...

"Flopz" Pretzels  (Parody of "Flipz" Pretzels.)

Note: The white pretzels on the package have always reminded of weird, little skull-like faces or the "Scream" mask.

Like the original package, the parody would also feature several white fudge covered pretzels, only rendered more face-like and ghoulish.  The expressions on some could be frightening, while others could simply be dopey-looking or even sad.

"Fright Fudge" followed by "(Hollywood) Horror Movie Rejects"





Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #80 on: July 09, 2017, 06:54:30 PM »
Possibility...

"Mincing Marvin" Nonsensical Old Sea Salt  (Parody of "Morton" Natural Sea Salt.)

Canister features a stereotypical old, grizzled Maine fisherman wearing a yellow hat and carrying a frilly parasol.  Instead of wearing a yellow slicker, however, he is wearing a yellow dress and showing off his skinny, hairy, knobby legs as he sillily sashays through the rain.

"This old salt does not supply a sound mind, a necessary ingredient of common sense."

"All-Psycho"





Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #81 on: July 13, 2017, 03:37:36 PM »


Marc,

I happened to come across this title on eBay maybe 3-5 years ago and only purchased the one available.  I'll check around, though, and see if I can come up with further information or availability.  And like I said, I don't wish to tie up Chad's thread, so I'll post any info here.

Offline quas

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« Reply #82 on: July 13, 2017, 06:12:18 PM »


Marc,

I happened to come across this title on eBay maybe 3-5 years ago and only purchased the one available.  I'll check around, though, and see if I can come up with further information or availability.  And like I said, I don't wish to tie up Chad's thread, so I'll post any info here.

Thanks!   :D
Marc

Offline bigtomi

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« Reply #83 on: July 14, 2017, 03:23:44 PM »
I happened to come across this title on eBay maybe 3-5 years ago and only purchased the one available.  I'll check around, though, and see if I can come up with further information or availability.
I happen to also have this card [and another similar one by the same artist]. It was an ebay purchase in 2010 from seller wildbillgibson, who appears to still be active there. Maybe send him an ebay message to see if he still has any more available [don't have an email address]?

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #84 on: July 22, 2017, 04:11:23 PM »
I happen to also have this card [and another similar one by the same artist]. It was an ebay purchase in 2010 from seller wildbillgibson, who appears to still be active there. Maybe send him an ebay message to see if he still has any more available [don't have an email address]?

Contacted eBay seller.  Still waiting for a second reply.

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #85 on: July 23, 2017, 12:44:34 PM »
Possibility...

"Ornery Rottenweiler's Puppy Corn" (Parody of "Orville Redenbacher's Popping Corn.")

Box features head of an adult Rottweiler wearing horned-rimmed glasses and a spiked bow tie (similar to a spiked dog collar.)  Standing on left hand side is a man holding a bag of popcorn.  A Rottweiler puppy is hanging from the man's backside, its teeth clenched in a death grip.  From the bag, popcorn is flying everywhere, while other bad puppies try to get in on the action.

"Butt Biter" Flavor

"Contents: 3 Bites"




« Last Edit: July 24, 2017, 08:43:19 AM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #86 on: July 24, 2017, 10:53:45 PM »
"Back-to-School" Possibility...

"Mead 5 Bar Notebook/Coasters Combo"  (Parody of "Mead 5 Star Notebook".)

Parody depicts "Mead" notebook (laying flat) being used as a coaster for a large, foaming stein of mead.  Two or three overlapping beer stain rings also "adorn" the cover.  The relief on the stein itself could feature any prominent Gothic building (found at Yale or a similar ivy league university) with a small group of inebriated party revelers in the foreground below carousing along a road or sidewalk.  Some of the party-goers are raising sloshing mugs of beer over their heads, while holding "F" or "D-" papers in their other hands.  One could also be sporting a stethoscope around around his or her neck and wearing a t-shirt with the letter/number combination: "MD2B."  Another reveler could be wearing a Metallica "And Justice For All" t-shirt.  (The impression, here, is of a typical group of crazy, ale-swilling college kids on their way to becoming our next generation of professionals.)

"70 Micro Perforated Coasters"
"1 Subject / College Parties Rule"
"Jenny - 867-5309" (Handwritten scrawl on cover.)






« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 08:40:03 AM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #87 on: July 24, 2017, 11:51:35 PM »
Possibility...

"Horton's Whoville Shrimp"  (Parody of "Gorton's Popcorn Shrimp.")

Left side of box features face of Horton, the elephant, (with facial stubble and yellow fishing hat) and the sour kangaroo, together, side-by-side, smiling sardonically.  The right side of the box features a couple of monkeys, as well as Vlad Vladikoff, the eagle.  In the pan below are a number of Whos, their bodies breaded with just their heads exposed (and goofy hats and hair styles.)  The dish itself is garnished with pinkish-purplish clover flowers.

"Distrusted Since 1954"

"Crunchy Annoying Brain-Dead Shrimps in Clover"

"A person's still tasty no matter how small!"

"Serving Suggestion: Keep Frozen"  (Note: This is what is actually written on the real product box - so I left it as it is.  How does "keep frozen" even qualify as a serving suggestion?)




« Last Edit: July 27, 2017, 11:43:12 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #88 on: July 25, 2017, 07:30:37 PM »
Christmas possibility...

"Ho Ho Puffs"  (Parody of "Cocoa Puffs.")

"Limited Holiday Edition" box features Sonny the Cuckoo dressed in Santa garb being electrified as he plugs in a string of red and green glass Christmas lights running through a sea of milk and Cocoa Puffs.

"The Ultimate Shocklatey Experience!"

"Now Even Crunchier!"

"Light Up Your Holiday Spirit - and Breakfast!"

"GE - General Electric"





Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #89 on: August 01, 2017, 11:20:00 PM »
Possibility...

"All-Clone Prime Guts"  (Parody of "Alpo Prime Cuts.")

Upper left of box features a dopey, moronic dog with a long tongue drooling several stands of saliva.  A bit lower on the left side, a mop handle is "leaning" against the edge of the box (parallel with the angle of red and brown package coloring.)   On the "floor" (that is, the bottom of the box) the mop head itself is filthy, having recently been used to swab the floor.  Various raw, moist organs and body parts are scattered about, as well as heaped inside a stainless steel bowl.  Most of these are not ordinary parts, however, like straightforward intestines, but "hybrid," anomalous miscreations.  For example, a stomach might also have an eye, as well as a tentacle and/or duck's bill protruding from it.  Similarly, a brain might sport spider legs, a tongue, and/or a furry cat's tail.  (Note: Essentially these body parts are a hodgepodge of leftovers - that is, the tossed-aside rejects - found at the end of the day at your typical, friendly neighborhood, run-of-the-mill cloning laboratory.)

"Savory Mixed-Up 'Mystery' Flavor Medley"

"Possibly Delicious for your Dog! / Definitely Profitable for Us!"

"Every Body Part Your Dog Needs - Plus Extras!"

"100% Genuine Surplus Scraps from the Floors of Genetic Laboratories"

"Learning (and Making an Extra Buck) from Our Mistakes!"  (Company Motto)


Also, the red and white "checkerboard squares" logo could be changed to a red and white biohazard symbol with a "happy face" superimposed upon it (to make it friendly and "bio-happy.")

The beef cow silhouette could also be slightly altered to show a few "changed" body parts, as well.  For example, a pig's tail, dorsal shark fin, turkey talons, etc..




« Last Edit: August 07, 2017, 07:32:05 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #90 on: August 07, 2017, 08:02:58 PM »
Possibility...

"Scratch and Mauls"  (Parody of "Hatchimals.")

Package features "cutesy," yet bizarre, sinister looking creature hatching from egg.  Evil, glowing eyes glare out from within, and an arm (or arms) ending in a hand(s) with sharp, twisted claws (or talons) has broken through the egg shell and is is groping toward the viewer.

"Who Will Scratch and Maul You?"

"Warning: Will Eat Children Under 3 Years of Age"




« Last Edit: August 08, 2017, 08:29:49 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline DrDeal

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« Reply #91 on: August 08, 2017, 03:01:38 AM »
Possibility...

"Scratch and Mauls"  (Parody of "Hatchimals.")

Package features "cutesy," yet bizarre, sinister looking creature hatching from egg.  Evil, glowing eyes glare out from within, and an arm (or arms) ending in a hand(s) with sharp, twisted claws (or talons) has broken through the egg shell is is groping toward the viewer.

"Who Will Scratch and Maul You?"

"Warning: Will Eat Children Under 3 Years of Age"





This idea rocks!

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #92 on: August 17, 2017, 06:42:59 PM »
Subset possibility...

"Who Cares Bears" 9 Card Subset  (Parody of "Care Bear" figures.)

Note:  While reading Chad Scheres thread, I happened across his "Scummy Face" collection of parodies.  (I believe there are now six total.)  I also happen to read on another thread (I now forget which) in which a member suggested doing a mini set of all of the different Cap'n Crunch flavors over the years.  Both are interesting and original ideas in that a subset would be exclusively devoted to one particular product, though different flavors and/or varieties in the product line would be parodied



Chad's "Scummy Face" line certainly has potential.  Unfortunately, in my opinion, Cap'n Crunch has been done to death, what with original, ANS, OS, and PoD Wackys, along with the Joe Simko's Cereal Killer parodies.  I could be mistaken, however, I believe any creative mind would be hard pressed to develop an entire original line of new Cap'n Crunch parodies that would shine like the North Star.  (Side note:  If anyone were interested in collecting a set of Cap'n Crunch parodies featuring all of the different flavors, I would suggest searching out all of the parody cards and amassing them into a mini collection.)

At any rate, I got to thinking that it would be cool to create a 9 card subset featuring different flavors and/or varieties of a single product.  Moreover, the 9 card subset would have a puzzle on the back (which would never be an individual card, but rather just always a puzzle) featuring a collage of the images (characters) rendered on the fronts (similar to the collages on the original series binders.)  Also, such a subset has never been done before.

I realize John Pound created the Who Cares Bears "Badtime Bear" (parody of "Bedtime Bear") in ANS1.  I wouldn't repeat this particular title, however one could run with the rest...




"Who Cares Bears" 9 Card Subset  (Though I've listed twelve below.)  (Parody of "Care Bear" figures.)

"Secretion" Bear  (Parody of "Secret" Bear)  - Bear secreting sweat, saliva, snots, etc..
"Tenderloin" Bear (Parody of "Tenderheart" Bear) - Bear divided into meat cuts (loin, ribs, etc.).
"Down-on-His-Luck" Bear  (Parody of "Lucky" Bear) - Downtrodden bum bear in trashcan.
"Moonshine" Bear  (Parody of "Funshine" Bear) - Redneck bear with long "chin whiskers," homemade still, and XXX jugs.
"Cheers!" Bear  (Parody of "Cheer" Bear) - Tipsy, lovable drunk bear holding martini.
"Barfday" Bear  (Parody of "Birthday" Bear) - Bear vomiting on pretty, colorful cake.
"Nightmare" Bear  (Parody of "Daydream" Bear) - Dark, cloaked Svengali-like bear with one outstretched, summoning hand.  Black cat and bat familiars are close by.
"Grubby" Bear  (Parody of "Grumpy" Bear) - Wormy, half-decayed zombie bear.
"Fiend" Bear"  (Parody of "Friend" Bear) - Monster bear with rows of jagged, pointy teeth.
"Chump" Bear"  (Parody of "Champ" Bear) - Dork bear with pinwheel hat, etc..
"Swish" Bear  (Parody of "Wish" Bear) - Effeminately dressed bear posing with cigarette in holder, other paw resting on hip.
"Surprise in His Pants" Bear (Parody of "Surprise" Bear) - Bear with "loaded" diaper.

The puzzle on the back of the cards would then depict a collage of whatever nine bears were featured on the fronts, along with the caption "Reject Them All!"



Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #93 on: August 18, 2017, 11:15:23 AM »
Christmas possibility...

"Turkey Swill Dreg Nog"  (Parody of "Turkey Hill Egg Nog.")

Bottle features an inebriated turkey collapsed in lower right corner.  A thick stream of vomit-like eggnog is drooling from its beak, running down it's body, and forming a pool around it and the base of he bottle.  Above the words "Turkey Swill" is a dilapidated lean-to like construction housing a ramshackle homemade still.  Alongside the turkey is a small, smiling pink elephant (with a Santa hat) raising a mug of eggnog in "Christmas Cheer!"   A cork replaces the bottle cap, a jug handle protrudes from one side of the bottle, and the contents are chunky and curdled (possibly spotted with green mold.)


« Last Edit: August 18, 2017, 01:46:56 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #94 on: August 18, 2017, 06:52:24 PM »
Possibility...

"Snake Fare Corn Frogs"  (Parody of "State Fair Corn Dogs.")

Background of box front depicts a swamp scene:  Scraggly trees dripping with Spanish moss, murky green water, lily pads, cattails, slender tendrils of mist, etc..  In right foreground is the raised upper portion of a coiled, smiling, brown water moccasin.  The snake's tail is also raised and wrapped around (holding) a stick affixed to a breaded frog.  The frog's head (with dead "X" eyes and tongue hanging out) and front legs protrude from the breading which is draped here and there in green seaweed-like, aquatic plant matter.  Its two hind legs are also visible, but encased in bread crumbs.  Other frogs on lily pads are looking on, exaggeratedly gaping in horror, shielding the sight from their eyes with their "hands," and/or making the sign of the cross to ward off the evil.

The side of the box could also have the advertisement "Now available!  Mini Corn Frogs!" along with an illustration of a few breaded tadpoles.

"Bayou Brand"

"Made with Real Pond Scum" 

"New Ribbiting Taste!"







Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #95 on: August 18, 2017, 08:07:42 PM »
Possibility...

(Off Broadway) Plays "Hackz" Wannabe Potato Chips  (Parody of Lays "Stax" Potato Chips.)

Lower portion of canister features two or three potato chip characters (with stick-like legs such as Humpty Dumpty) on a small stage.  Each of the chips are just fragments, though, such as halves and other broken pieces (not unlike the busted up chips one often encounters inside the can.)  One chip uses a crutch for support, another is missing an eye, etc..  The center chip could be spouting, "To be or not to be a whole chip, that is the question."  Somewhere near the top of the can are five outlines of rating stars.  Only one is filled in yellow.

"Dull Production Flavor"

"One Night Only"

"Contents: 768 Broken Pieces"



Offline Baked Bears

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Baked Bears' "Wordy" Packages
« Reply #96 on: August 20, 2017, 06:42:54 PM »
Christmas possibility...

"Skankee 'Christmas Heave" Candle (Parody of "Yankee" "Christmas Eve' Candle.)

Label on jar features Santa in the middle of tossing up a mouthful of Christmas (star, bell, candy cane shape, etc.) cookies and milk.  (Note: Santa's spew doesn't necessarily resemble vomit, but simply more like steams of milk and and fragments of cookies that haven't been fully digested.)  Some of the cookies are also laying in a puddle of milk at the base of the jar.

"A Putrefied Fragrance."



- or -

"Wicked Packages" possibility...

"Skankee" 'Christmas Nookie' Candle  (Parody of "Yankee" 'Christmas Cookie' Candle.)

Label on jar features Santa behind a bedroom door in the process of closing it.  Behind him we see a bombshell mom wearing Christmas negligee.  Santa is winking with one eye directly at the viewer.  A small mistletoe could be hanging above the door or from the outside doorknob.  (Note: Perhaps Santa's hat could be off, revealing a balding head, implying that he is already getting undressed.)

"A Passion for Romance."

"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus..."  (Accompanied by musical notes.)



- or -

"Wicked Packages" possibility...

"Skankee" 'Ho Sweet Ho' Candle  (Parody of "Yankee" 'Home Sweet Home' Candle.)

Label on jar features two of three ladies of the night (again, dressed in provocative Christmas attire) propositioning an inebriated Santa on a street corner beneath a lamp.  They are standing around a tripod from which a red kettle is suspended bearing the words "Salacious Army."  The inside of the jar, between the candle wax and glass, could be lined with a fishnet stocking design.

"A Passion for Flagrancy."



- or -

Other possibilities...

"Skankee" Christmas Garbage' Candle  (Parody of 'Christmas Garland.') - Tree decorated with garland strung with kitchen trash.

"Skankee" Christmas Wrath' Candle  (Parody of 'Christmas Wreath.') - Evil wreath with glaring eyes and wide open mouth full of jagged teeth.

"Skankee" 'Stoned for the Holidays' Candle  (Parody of 'Home for the Holidays.') - Assortment of half-empty liquor glasses and bottles, upright and knocked over on their sides, nestled in festive holly leaves and berries, lit by maybe a warm flickering candle or two.  (An inebriated Christmas teddy bear with red bow could be sitting behind everything.)

"Skankee" 'Miserable Frozen Forest' Candle  (Parody of 'Magical Frosted Forest.') - Moonlit forest scene of Christmas trees and cutesy (yet unhappy) forest animals (deer, bunnies, etc..)  Everything is entirely encased in ice.

"Skankee" 'Christmas Mourning' Candle  (Parody of 'Christmas Morning.')  - A boy and girl (shedding flying tears) standing before a plate of gingerbread men Christmas cookies and a half empty glass of milk.  All of the cookies heads have been bitten off and are missing.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2017, 07:28:18 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #97 on: August 20, 2017, 08:19:14 PM »
Possibility...

"All-Poor" Barbecue Sauceless and Meatless Ribs  (Parody of "On-Cor" Barbecue Sauce and Boneless Rib Shaped Patties.)

Box features rack of white, bare animal ribs (six on either side, sticking up.)  Just behind and above the rack, a gaunt man is looking forlornly at the dish, attempting to stab at the bones with a fork with bent tines  A small gaunt puppy shares the same expression.  The ribs, however, are garnished with pretty green leaves.

"Famine Size"

"Serving Suggestion: Choke Thoroughly."





Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #98 on: August 22, 2017, 01:40:02 PM »
"Wicked Packages" possibility...

"Questionable Seasonings" Tea (Parody of "Celestial Seasonings" Tea.)

Box depicts "Sleepytime" Bear in bed attire jettisoning a mouthful of tea across the room as his eyes literally bug out of their sockets on stalks.  The cat in the lower right background is also following suit.

"Swearing Time"

"Foul Verbal Tea" 

Amidst the curlicues and filigree on the upper green portion of the box are an assortment of lighter green curse word symbols, $%&#@, etc..

"Never Obscene Free"


« Last Edit: August 24, 2017, 11:04:53 AM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Baked Bears' "Wordy" Packages
« Reply #99 on: August 22, 2017, 02:23:56 PM »
"Wicked Packages" Possibility...

"Hannibal's" Home Style Soup  (Parody of "Campbell's" Home Style Soup.)

Lower portion of can features a spoon and bowlful of kidneys and other organs, as well as maybe a foot.  The dish is garnished with parsley. 

"Steak and Kidney" (Flavor)

"Seasoned with Onions and Mushrooms."

"Eat Me!"  (Instead of "Try Me!" though "Try Me!" works, too.)

"The Taste that Slays You."

"Net Weight 126g."  (Note "126" is the number of the recipe card for "Steak and Kidney Pie" from the "Hannibal" television series.)




« Last Edit: August 22, 2017, 06:10:06 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Baked Bears' "Wordy" Packages
« Reply #100 on: August 22, 2017, 03:03:32 PM »
Possibility...

While I'm thinking of soups, I'm curious as to why "primordial soup" has never been done before?  It seems that this would be an obvious parody.  The following is not necessarily my original idea, but rather bits cobbled together from Google:

"Clamshell's" Primordial Soup  (Parody of "Campbell's" Soup.)

Classic red and white "Campbell's can features clams, trilobites, ammonites, and belemnites (squids) on the lower portion of the can, as well as maybe an air-breathing salamander-like creature - and the Campbell's boy (or the "Ajerx" guy or Andy Warhol) - emerging from the top of the can from beneath a partially opened lid.

"Now with Amino Acids!"

"Caution: Keep Lid Closed at All Times!" or "Warning (or Danger): Do Not Open Under Any Circumstances!"




« Last Edit: August 22, 2017, 04:30:18 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #101 on: August 24, 2017, 11:03:03 AM »
Possibility...

"Unhuman's Own" Afraido Sauce (Parody of "Newman's Own" Alfredo Sauce.)

Label on jar depicts Paul Newman, with a few slight changes, as a vampire with fangs, turned up cape collar, and piercing blue eyes.  (The creature is instantly recognizable as Paul Newman, however.)   Small, comical bats are clustered around his neckline, taking the place of the pitcher of milk and cheese wedges.  The blue "plank" with the word "Alfredo" is coffin-shaped.  The contents of the jar are (blood) red as opposed to creamy white.  A string of garlic bulbs hang from the tapered top of the jar, just below the lid.

"With Garlic"

"All Supernatural"



Offline Baked Bears

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Baked Bears' "Wordy" Packages
« Reply #102 on: August 26, 2017, 03:37:01 PM »
Possibility...

Chicago's "Awful Orange"  (Parody of LA's "Awesome Orange")

Bottle label features "20s/30s style gangster" orange.  It is sneering and wearing a fedora.  The orange doesn't have feet, but it is brandishing a meat tenderizing hammer in one hand.  It is "standing" (or lurking) on the corner in the partial "film noir" shadows cast by the glow of a streetlamp.  The nozzle is metal, and the trigger is more curved to resemble the trigger of a pistol.

"All Purpose Destroyer (and Snitch Remover)"

"Eliminates EVERYTHING on Contract!"

"Made in Chicago"






« Last Edit: August 26, 2017, 03:42:56 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Baked Bears' "Wordy" Packages
« Reply #103 on: August 26, 2017, 04:52:48 PM »
Possibility...

Chicago's "Awful Orange"  (Parody of LA's "Awesome Orange")

Bottle label features "20s/30s style gangster" orange.  It is sneering and wearing a fedora.  The orange doesn't have feet, but it is brandishing a meat tenderizing hammer in one hand.  It is "standing" (or lurking) on the corner in the partial "film noir" shadows cast by the glow of a streetlamp.  The nozzle is metal, and the trigger is more curved to resemble the trigger of a pistol.

"All Purpose Destroyer (and Snitch Remover)"

"Eliminates EVERYTHING on Contract!"

"Made in Chicago"







Great idea! Maybe he could be holding some sort of AR?
Mark

Offline Baked Bears

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« Reply #104 on: August 26, 2017, 07:21:28 PM »
Thanks.  I had thought of that, but was trying to keep it more "child friendly."  (As a teacher I give out Wackys as incentives, but if any kind of weapon is featured, I'm forced to pull it.  That's why I stopped short of suggesting that the nozzle be an actual gun.  If the parody were to go the "Wicked Packages" route, though, I'm sure there could be all sorts of interesting things one could do with it!)