Author Topic: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas  (Read 1915 times)

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Offline Baked Bears

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Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« on: February 11, 2017, 04:50:35 PM »
Forum Members

My name is Rob (Baked Bears,) and I am a 2nd-5th grade science/social studies teacher in South Jersey.  I have created this thread simply to share and express any ideas that I and/or my students (both past and present) have had in an attempt to keep the WP Spirit not only alive and kicking, but most importantly, flourishing.  I also encourage other forum members to contribute with ideas and suggestions of their own.

During the past several years, I have witnessed substantial lulls in WP production and shifts away from established precedent.  Thick, black borders being replaced by thinner, cleaner borders.  Generic products vs actual brand names.  Parody taking a backseat to satire.  Rampant repetition of WP characters.  Some change is for the better.  Too much change worries me.

I've noticed that several WP artists are members of this forum.  (In my opinion, the artists are the primary creative force, the "Jedi Council," as it were, of the WP world.)  My hope is to submit (hopefully good and well-thought-out) suggestions/ideas that these artists might possibly use, pass along to other interested parties, or just file away for future inspiration or reference.  These ideas may be hypothetical (as all ideas originally are,) however I hope that a few of them might actually see the light of day.  I'm just putting them out there up for grabs.  They will either be embraced or ignored.  So be it; That's how these things go.  I will never expect any rewards or compensation, save to possibly open up a WP wrapper someday and find myself pleasantly surprised.  Thus, in a sense, this thread is simply a notebook for whomever.

Perhaps the forum is the wrong place for this?  I really don't know.  Perhaps I should try contacting Topps, for what it's worth?

Lastly, I will do my best to keep my words at a minimum and try not to meander too much.  Being a teacher, however, I tend to back my words with support and/or elaboration.  Thus, in my future posts I will first present an idea, then, in the second half of the post, provide support/elaboration for that idea.  Any reader will then have a choice as to what and how much they desire to read.  (If anyone, however, asks me a question that requires detailed, even psychological, explanation, well - you know what to expect!)

Thanks!
« Last Edit: February 18, 2017, 07:02:12 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2017, 04:52:00 PM »
Possibility for political set...

"Kremlins" (Parody of either "Gremlins" films.)

  DVD case featuring a group of green, reptilian gremlins wearing furry, Russian kubanka hats with the hammer and sickle emblem.  Spike, the head gremlin, resembles Vladimir Putin and is pointing his right index finger directly at the viewer in an Uncle Sam pose.   Above his head is the tagline: "Coming soon to a computer near you!"  The other gremlins, with malicious smiles, are gathered around him, busy typing on laptops.  Included in the group is also a "Mars Attacks" Martian (also with kubanka hat) uttering, "Hack!  Hack!" 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Additional details/gags:
- Spike/Putin wears pants to emphasize that 1) he is shirtless and 2) has man boobs.
- Spike's kubanka has a white stripe running down the middle.
- Spike's left hand clutches a long, trailing paper scroll. On the overturned top of the list are the names Clinton, Podesta, etc. with check marks alongside of each.  (Perhaps Trump's name could also be included without a check mark, indicating that he is next to be hacked.)
- Spike's pointy ears are an exaggeration of Putin's pointy ears.
- Hammer and sickle emblem has replaced the Apple logo on the laptops.  (Or, perhaps, the Apple logo could be replaced with a white silhouette of the continental United States - with a bite taken out of it.)
- Gizmo (with Trump hair) is bound with rope, gagged, red-faced, and sweating profusely.
- The idiotic, dopey gremlin repeatedly taps on keyboard with only an index finger exaggeratedly pointed straight down.  Coming from his computer are the words "Access Granted."
- One gremlin sports an arm tattoo of the gremlin from the Bugs Bunny Loony Tunes feature "Falling Hare" with the words "My Hero" written above.
- The onion domes of St. Basil's Cathedral can be seen in the background (to emphasize the "Russian-ness" of it all.)


Other possible taglines:
- We didn't obey the rules!
- Vladimir Putin presents...
- A ГРУ / ФСБ production.  (A GRU / FSB production.)
« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:45:25 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2017, 06:37:09 PM »
Christmas possibility...

"Pawmark" Cards (Parody of Hallmark cards.)  Or "Dogmark," "Dawgmark," or "Howlmark."

Boxed set of cards (so as to feature the Hallmark name which would otherwise be normally featured on the back of an individual greeting card.)  Card front: Cozy, interior scene of a beautifully decorated Christmas tree with a warm fire crackling in the background.  Something along the lines of...





Instead of featuring people in the scene, however, it would all be dogs - familiar, iconic WP dogs of past and present - all making their WP "mark" on Christmas.

Although the "Pawmark" cards is a parody, the actual scene would be a celebration of and homage to WP.

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Additional details / gags:

The Dogs:
- The "Grime" dog getting bonked on the head by a falling tree ornament.
- The "Cracked Jerk" dog either biting into a present - or peeing on a present.
- The "Cocoa Pups" pups popping up from behind presents, hidden throughout the Christmas tree branches, or poking their heads out of hanging stockings.
- The "Rabid Shave" dog dressed as Santa with a shaving creme beard.  (Or the "Milk-Foam" dog with a toothpaste beard.)
- The howling "Smartz" dog with musical notes emanating from his mouth.
- The "Pupsi" dog in bathrobe and slippers sipping on his usual glass of soda (or perhaps a cardboard quart of eggnog.)
- The "Bum Beans" dog staring and drooling at a pot of beans hanging in the fireplace.
- The "Hoggin' Dogz" dog greedily hogging a plate of Christmas cookies.
- Other dogs could also be featured here and there:  The two "Mutt's" dogs, the "Alpoor" dog, any of the lady "Panting" dogs, etc..

The Gifts:
- The wrapping paper on the gifts under the tree can be ripped and torn in places, advantageously revealing glimpses of the toys inside - which are, of course, WP toys both past and present: "Retch A Sketch" (with the puking dog,) Fishey-Prize Aged Herring," the "Struggle" Bear, "Smellmo," "My Little Bony," "Goodbye Kitty," etc., etc..  (It might also be cool to have a dog chewing on "My Little Bony" like a chewstick, being she is, after all, made of bones.)

The Ornaments:
- At first glance, the ornaments on the tree appear to be regular traditional ornaments.  A closer look, however, reveals that all of these, too, are from the WP universe: Red "Rowdy" fire hydrants, yawning "Dull" pineapple rings, WP worms, "Kooks" penguins, "Demented" tomatoes, "Nestree" nests of baby birds, clay figures from "Play-Dumb" clay, polar bears from "Polarbearoid Film," "Plastered" peanuts, a green Norm Saunders check, the head of the "Ajerx" man (wearing a Santa hat,) "Coldfish" crackers, "Spittles" candies, a pickle shaped like a candy cane, and so on, and so on.  The list is almost limitless.

Various other WP objects could also be placed around the room - a sepia "Cap'n Crud" in a picture frame, a bottle of Coca-Cobra resting on the mantelpiece, the "Ratz" rat climbing onto a shelf, etc.

The gold Hallmark crown logo could be a ring-shaped spiked dog collar.

And the tagline: "Happy Howlidays!"










In a sense, this title would be a humongous "Spot the Wacky."

Of all my hypothetical ideas, this one is by far the most preposterous in terms of it ever becoming a reality.  It's been nagging and nagging at me, though, and although I can't really image any artist ever finding the time to pull off such a vast undertaking, I do think it would be darn cool, nevertheless!  (Even more so as a holiday poster!)
« Last Edit: February 19, 2017, 07:56:05 AM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #3 on: February 19, 2017, 11:18:31 AM »
Christmas Possibility...

"Ribbit" Candy (Parody of ribbon candy.)

A box of "Ribbit" (ribbon) candy with a green frog (perched on a lily pad) with a wavy, red-and-white striped tongue stretching across the cover of the box to snag a fly on the opposite side.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Additional details /gags:
- The inside of the box is filled with rows of similar frog tongues with random flies stuck on them (like flies on flypaper.)
- One side of the box could state: "Also available in spear-mint!" - along with a frog with a wavy, green-and-white striped tongue impaling a splayed fly.
- (I suppose the frog could be wearing a Santa hat.)
- Tagline: "Hoppy Holidays!"
- Murky, green pond scum could be leaking from the box.



« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:45:44 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #4 on: February 19, 2017, 12:57:38 PM »
Possibility...

"PU Bunny" Mississippi Muck Ice Cream Barge (Parody of "Blue Bunny" Mississippi Mud Sandwich (bar.))

A chocolate ice cream bar (barge) packed/heaped with garbage floating down a river while hungry seagulls circle overhead.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Additional details / gags:

- The silhouette of the "PU Bunny" has a silhouetted clothespin clamped to its nose.
- Or, if the title was slightly changed to "Puke Bunny," silhouetted chunks of vomit spraying from its mouth.
- Dead fish, boots, etc. floating in the river.
- Waves of stench emanating from barge and/or river.
- A "Tom Sawyer" like boy (or possibly rabbit) with straw hat, overalls, dangling bare feet, and cane pole fishing off the side of the barge.
- A distinct bite has been taken out of one corner of the barge.



« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:46:11 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline crackedjerk

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2017, 06:22:55 PM »
I also don't know how feasible it is, but I love the dog wackys and think combining it in some way with Christmas cards sounds cool. 

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #6 on: February 20, 2017, 08:11:00 PM »
I also don't know how feasible it is, but I love the dog wackys and think combining it in some way with Christmas cards sounds cool.

I love the dog wackys, too, as well as the cat ones (and sometimes consider recollecting just these to have them all together in one divided dog/cat collection.)

My original line of thought was a simple "Pawmark" gag featuring a new and different dog.  Then I remembered your dog, "Bingo," Cracked Jerk, and thought how well he would fit into this merry mess.  It wasn't that much of a stretch, then to add the "Grimes" dog, then the "Cocoa Pups" puppies, etc., etc..  It just all made a certain sense.  I also liked the idea of a Wacky character popping up in a starring role in a completely new Wacky title (which would be a little bit different from a crossover, say, or the election set of postcards.)

In retrospect, though, I got carried away with the presents and ornaments.  These should have been strictly related to dogs, as well, in keeping with the canine theme.  The "Rowdy" red fire hydrants, "Retch A Sketch," "Goodbye Kitty," and perhaps "My Little Bony," could stay, but the rest would all have to go.  I just liked the idea of being able to find "hidden" Wacky references, such as Neil Camera did with the WP petroleum titles in "Fracky Packages."  Perhaps another poster could be made, as well, featuring all of the classic characters - humans, animals, creatures, etc. - similar to the 2011 WP ANS7 postcards poster - but all within a joyous Christmas setting?  That would be a nice holiday treat.

I'm glad that you also like the idea of Christmas Wackys.  And, yes, I did notice your "Hint. Hint." in the Halloween thread.  Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Come to think of it, Topps has done Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now, Valentine's Day.  Should we also expect St. Patty's Day, Easter, and the 4th of July?  If so, then maybe a Christmas set isn't that far-fetched.  I just hope they all aren't political/social satires, though.  Granted, I've laughed out loud at some of these, but I tend to prefer the just plain goofy, innocent titles, you know, like the dog ones.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2017, 04:01:50 AM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2017, 02:39:35 PM »
Christmas possibility...

"Mice Flavors Cheese Storybook" (Parody of "Life Savers Sweet Storybook.")

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Additional details / gags:
- Brown and white field mice (as opposed to gray house mice) popping out of box through holes they have chewed in it.
- Bloated mouse sitting and leaning against box, nibbling on a mini, candy cheese wheel (Life Saver parody) gripped in its hands.
- Other candy cheese wheels are stacked up like tires on the ground outside of box, or...
- A roll of Mice Savers has been torn open and is spilling its candy cheese wheel contents.
- "Cheese Flavored Candy Assortment": cheddar, gouda, limburger, etc..
- Phrase " 'Twas the Night Before Christmas..." printed on box.
- Somewhere (on top of box?) a mouse is scampering away from a few tiny pellets it deposited just seconds ago.





« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:46:37 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2017, 03:36:22 PM »
Pauly.

Yes, you're were correct. Package Parodies did do a Christmas title:


Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2017, 04:03:45 PM »
Easter possibility...

Plotter's "Baby Jinx" Chocolate Voodoo Rabbit (Parody of Palmer's "Baby Binks")

Patchwork, stitched-up chocolate rabbit with sewed-on, yellow button eyes and voodoo pins protruding from body.  (Even more freakish would be if the rabbit had random sections broken away from its face, etc. - like a broken china doll - revealing its hollow interior.)

Substitute white, cartoonish skulls for pink flower blossoms.

"Pins included!"


Or...

Plumber's "Baby Stinks"

Chocolate rabbit seated upon white chocolate hopper (toilet.) Waves of stink emanate from package, and the flowers are wilted.

"Two hoppers for the price of one!"






« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:47:04 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2017, 04:25:01 PM »
Easter possibility... (Never to be realized, of course.)

"Colombian Easter Grass" (Generic parody of Easter grass.)

   - Bag of green marijuana, uncut so as to reveal its distinctive leaves.

   - On the bag, a colorful Robert Crumb hippie couple is enwreathed by sinuous tendrils of smoke.  "Outta sight, man!"

   - Along the bottom of the bag is a colorful row of dancing Grateful Dead bunnies (as opposed to bears.)

   - "Includes Free Pack of Cigarette Rolling Papers!"







« Last Edit: May 07, 2017, 06:32:20 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2017, 04:48:11 AM »
A guitar title?

Fibson Fes Up, Paul!

(Gibson Les Paul)

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2017, 10:41:24 AM »
Yes, it would be nice if WP made a foray into the world of rock 'n' roll.  Besides a few titles - David Bowie Knife, Kiss Kat, etc. - this is largely uncharted territory.

After reading your post, one thought led to another and another, and it occurred to me that it would have been cool if an actual full color magazine had been released for the WP 50th anniversary.  (Much too late now, of course.)  This magazine could have transcended time itself and embraced the past five decades.  It could have contained actual articles, interviews, bits of trivia, artist spotlights, and been loaded with (perhaps) hundreds of WP ads both past and present, as well as new parodies of literally any products, classic advertising, slogans, etc. during the past half century.  This would have been the perfect and singular opportunity to poke fun at just about anything: Dodge Neon cars, the Eagles "Hotel California," Geico Insurance, "Saturday Night Fever," MTV, Maxell Cassette tapes, etc. - basically a huge, insane, "Wacky" trip down memory lane.  Ah, if only...




Postscript:  There is a small magazine entitled "Reminisce" that embraces several decades at once in each publication.  Perhaps, Jason Liebig, you could submit some small articles and artwork?  Just a suggestion.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2017, 05:44:07 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2017, 01:59:46 PM »
Easter possibility...

Chompers "Rocks 'n' Eggs" (Parody of Whoppers "Robin Eggs.")

   - "Fossilized Pterodactyl Eggs in a Crunchy Limestone Shell"

   - Mama pterodactyl perched on nest of spotted, pastel eggs.  (Contrary to the "rocks" they're supposed to represent,) perhaps some of the eggs could have hatched revealing squawking, demented baby pterodactyls?  Mom has a squirming, hapless lizard clutched in her beak.  Perhaps a second, worried-but-smiling lizard has escaped its fate for the moment and is peeking out from behind some other eggs?  Behind this lizard is a cracked egg with a baleful eyeball peering out at him.  Volcanic, prehistoric landscape in background.  Silhouettes of flying pterodactyls in distance.

   - "Geothermally Flavored"

   - "Chompers" written in tribeca (Jurassic Park) font?


« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:47:38 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2017, 02:26:27 PM »
Easter possibility...

Zitter's "Choke 'Em Up Cream Eggs" (Parody of Zitner's Cocoanut Cream Eggs.)

   - Box of eggs covered with pustules leaking a creamy, white substance.  The rabbit on the upper half of the box could be popping the egg in his paw as if it was a gigantic zit with a small geyser of pus squirting out.  White heads could be substituted for the polka-dots on the colored eggs featured on the lower half of the box.

   - "Creating Unfine Complexions Since 1922"

  - "The most egg-ceptional egg-scretions you'll ever taste!"

  - "Pop one in your mouth!"



« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:47:59 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #15 on: March 25, 2017, 03:45:54 PM »
Political possibility...

"Barrel of Trumpeys" (Trumpies)  (Parody of "Barrel of Monkeys".)

Kind of speaks for itself...

(Yes, and they could all have Trump hair.)



« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:48:16 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #16 on: March 25, 2017, 04:05:20 PM »
Christmas possibility...

Break's "Cracky Canes"  (Parody of Brach's "Candy Canes".)

Quite simply, a typical box of broken candy canes.

   - Two Christmas elves stand directly outside the box (or, perhaps, actually inside the box.)  One elf is snapping a candy cane across his knee, while the second elf is breaking a candy cane across the first elf's head.

   - "112 Cracky Cane Pieces"

   - "Made with Really Bad Temperament Oil"  ( Temper-mint ? )



« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:48:29 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2017, 04:37:29 PM »
Christmas possibility...

DeTroit's "Turtledoves" 
Brand Unbearable Gut Busters

(Parody of DeMet's "Turtles".)

Pigeon (with ragged top hat, monocle, and cane) covered in dripping chocolate and caramel oversees a nest of fledglings covered in same.  Being this is a Christmas parody, the nest could be woven of holly sprigs.

"Unoriginal"
"Pigeons - Chocolate - Caramel"

Tagline: "It's Christmas slime in the city!" (With little floating musical notes, as this is the "line" from the holiday song "Silver Bells.")

The upper left and right hand corners of the front of the box could feature complimentary corner embellishments of silver bells (splattered with bird droppings) with ribbons and holly.


« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:48:46 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #18 on: March 25, 2017, 04:55:30 PM »
Christmas possibility...

Celestial Seasons  (Parody of "Celestial Seasonings".)

"Winter Solstice Tea"

(Flavor) "Holly and Mistletoad"

Box features Stonehenge in the background (well rendered so as to represent the artwork Celestial Seasonings is known for.)  In the right foreground squats a large toad wearing a crown of mistletoe and holly and holding a teacup in its "hand."







Can't really explain it, but there's something timeless and even druid-like about toads.  Yeah, I know.  Weird thought.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:49:01 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #19 on: March 25, 2017, 05:53:45 PM »
Christmas possibility...

Hottest "Ho Ho Hos"  (Parody of Hostess "Ho Hos".)

"Chocolate Yule Log Cakes Rolled with Sooty Filling for Rodents"

Box pictures a beaver (with Santa hat) squatting beside chocolate yule logs (or clutching a chocolate yule log) with flickering flames.

   - "Yule love 'em!"

   - "Same dam taste FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!"

   - "Seasons Eatings!"  (Yes, I know I used this same tagline somewhere before!)







« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:41:57 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2017, 06:15:06 PM »
Christmas possibility...

HurtsMe Holiday "Hisses"  (Parody of Hershey's Holiday "Kisses".)

Bag features 3 chocolate vipers emerging from green, silver, and red foil wrappers.

Or...

One green, one silver, and one red snake, each coiled up in the conical shape of a Hershey Kiss.

Tagline: "Rattlesnake Milk Shockolate"




« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 05:19:26 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #21 on: March 25, 2017, 06:40:19 PM »
Christmas possibility...

Snowmann Whole Wheat Sled  (Parody of Stroehmann Whole Wheat Bread")

Loaf of bread with a huge drift of snow along its side.  Miniature children are sledding down the snow drift on slices of bread, holding on to the top crust which they have pulled back (similar to the way the front of a toboggan curves back.)  On the bread sled, the children can be holding onto one another in a line, with the last child actually airborne holding on only with his or her hands.  Other children could be tumbling head-over-heels down the hill, stuck upside down in the snow with only their legs protruding, etc..  The general impression would be that they are all playing dangerously, but in a lighthearted, childish way.  Grandpa Stroehmann is a snowman, and the Amish horse-drawn cart is a horse-drawn sleigh.

If one of the children is on crutches (due to a sledding accident,) a possible tagline might be "Crutch Country."



« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:42:29 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #22 on: March 25, 2017, 07:08:17 PM »
Christmas possibility...

"Wise Men 'Frankincense and Myrrh' Golden Potato Chips"  (Parody of "Wise Potato Chips".)

Bag of potato chips.  Largely rendered in shades of blue, the background depicts a starry night with silhouettes of sand dunes, camels, and palm trees.

The lower third of the bag features three elf (the kind that live in cacti) owls (rendered in natural colors) wearing bejeweled turbans, cloaks, etc..  (The clothed owls would be very, very colorful - something along the line of what Hayao Miyazaki has depicted in some scenes of "Spirited Away" or "Howl's Moving Castle" - a rich and varied assortment of almost impossible dazzling colors.)









I would not include the baby Jesus.  I just chose this picture because I liked how the wise men were attired.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:42:52 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #23 on: March 26, 2017, 08:50:42 AM »
Christmas "Tidings" (Parody of "Tide" detergent.)  Or... Good "Tidings" We Bring!

 - Box features a filthy Santa with black soot and coal stains on his suit, hat, cheeks, and beard.  An open sack of coal rests at his feet with some pieces scattered on the ground.

   - Lifts Coal and Soot Stains Instantly!

   - Preferred by Santas the World Over!

If using the package design below, perhaps the tagline: "Attacks Even Cookies and Milk Stains!"

Or...

"Attacks Even 7 Day Old Reindeer Drool Stains!" (Include a dopey, drooling reindeer with its head pressed lovingly against Santa as it drools thick strings of saliva down his suit.)

The lower left hand corner features a magnified view of white snowflakes.  "Activ Snowflake Crystals"  (Intentionally misspelled.)

The round bull's eye logo is a simple evergreen wreath.




Another possibility might be to nix Santa altogether and, instead, feature blackened coal miner elves with picks, miner lamps, canary, cart of coal, etc..  (I never thought about it until now, but somebody has to mine all of that coal.  I can only assume it would be elves.)
« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:43:20 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #24 on: March 26, 2017, 12:11:42 PM »
Christmas possibility...

"Holiday Cheer-ios"  (Parody of "Honey Nut Cheerios".)

Entire parody thematically based upon "The Twelve Days of Christmas" carol.

   - The Cheerios are golden rings.

   - The cereal bowl is a red toy drum. As if it were a spoon, the end of a wooden drum stick can be seen protruding from the cereal.

   - Among the rings, a swan is swimming in the cereal bowl.

   - Behind the drum/bowl, a milk maid can be pouring a pitcher of milk into it.

   - The four calling birds can be resting in their nest located inside the base of the "O" in "Cheerios.

   - Likewise, the two turtledoves can be perched on letters, possibly the double "e"s.

   - The partridge can replace the bee.  For that matter, a portion of the bee can still be seen sticking out of the partridge's beak, the partridge having just ate it.  (Note: The partridge and the bee both have stripes.)

   - The two lines separating the phrase "First Ingredient Whole Grain Oats" from the rest of the text can be two, slender, horizontal fifes.

   - The phrase "First Ingredient: Whole Grain Oats" can be replaced by "First Ingredient: Whole Musical Notes."  Merry, floating, musical quarter and eighth notes (as opposed to boring, circular whole notes) flank the phrase on either side.




« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:43:36 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

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Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #25 on: March 26, 2017, 03:05:16 PM »
Christmas Possibility...

"Jolly Prancers"  (Parody of "Jolly Ranchers".)

Jolly Prancers
& Dashers & Dancers & Vixens & Comets & Cupids & Donners & Blitzens

   - "Reindeer Candy"

   - "Original Tundra Flavors" / "Blackberry * Lichen * Grass * Moss * Snow

Bag features 4 or 5 reindeer (or reindeer faces) each with a different color, translucent illuminated nose - blue, red, green, yellow, etc. - (the way a Jolly Rancher would glow if you held a flashlight behind it.)

Alp-like, snow-covered mountains in background.

Perhaps the "Y" in "Jolly" could be a pair of antlers, or perhaps Rudolph's head could be jutting out through the "O."


« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:43:54 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

  • Posts: 339
Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #26 on: March 27, 2017, 07:45:59 PM »
Christmas possibility...

"Mrs. Claus's Crummy Popcorn Fish Garland"  (Parody of "Mrs. Paul's Crunchy Popcorn Fish".)

Box depicts a plate of popcorn fish with random, dead fish heads and tails protruding out of the breading.  To the right hand side in the foreground could be a young boy and girl decorating a Christmas tree with strings of the same popcorn fish garland.  As they are stringing the garland with one hand, they are holding their noses with the other, all of the while making disgusting faces.  Perhaps there could be an angel tree topper also holding her nose, as well as a pet cat and/or dog doing the same.  (If a cat is grossed-out, something most definitely must be wrong.)

The smiling face of Mrs. Claus could be located in the upper left.  A clothespin is pinching her nose shut, hence she can afford to smile.

"100% Holiday Fiasco!"

Perhaps a few other seafood ornaments could be hanging from the tree as well: lobsters, clams, crabs, seahorses, etc..

"Tis the Sea-son!"

Or...

Instead of the two grossed-out children and the "smelly" theme, there could be an old Maine fisherman (wearing a yellow slicker and hat) apparently happy as he decorates his rather bizarre tree on Christmas Eve.  Or instead of the fisherman, there could be a pair of anthropomorphic sea otters (again, enjoying themselves.)



« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:44:13 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

  • Posts: 339
Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #27 on: March 31, 2017, 06:03:54 PM »
It seems to me that, as of late, Topps is trying to "force" too many different things into the WP Universe (similar to what they did with the magazine set those many long years ago) and thereby undermining the integrity of WP as a whole by creating a disjointed hodgepodge of parodies and satires.

It also occurred to me that all of these new sets - Trumpocracy: The First 100 Days, GPK Network Spews, Twitster, Alternative Facts, etc. - actually belong to their own single series by virtue of the "current events/media" commonalities they share, not the Wacky Packages series which is centered around products, a large majority of which have withstood the test of time.

That being so, I would like to propose that Topps officially create just such a series.

Many years ago, Topps took a risk and, from a WP spin-off, created GPK.  The gamble worked.  Moreover, it was a HUGE success.  (And the Garbage Pail Kids didn't run rampant through the Wacky Universe, but rather stayed in their own, except for the rare congenial visit.)

Why not take a similar chance now?  Why not create an original "current events/media" series with its own distinctive artwork, style, and parody/satire driven humor?  Not WP artwork/style/humor or GPK artwork/style/humor (though there could be crossovers,)  but rather a series for the new millennium, a series for our age of hypermedia and social networking - something that isn't just limply hanging onto the coattails of a successful predecessor?

The series could parody/satirize:

    National News
    International News
    Business/Finance/Economy
    Politics
    Sports
    Entertainment
    Arts/Culture/Literature
    Events/Movies
    Television
    Society/People
    Tourism
    Social Networking
    Automobiles
    Style/Fashion
    Cooking/Cuisine
    Health/Medicine
    Home & Decoration
    Family

More or less, most of the things one would find in a newspaper.
   
As I stated above, all of the aforementioned sets (Trumpocracy, etc.) are, beyond any shadow of a doubt, all part of just such a series.  It does exist.  It just has to be acknowledged.  Somebody just needs to pull all of the ingredients together and bake up something fresh and solid.

This would not only provide artists/writers with unlimited opportunities to be creative, but opportunities that would also last decades and decades and decades...

And Wacky Packages could just go back to being what they were, creative product parodies with bits of political humor occasionally thrown in.

As with all of my "wordy" ideas, this is just a simple suggestion.

(And thus, having run Trump and his gang out of town, Dr. Ono, Phoney the Tiger, Goodbye Kitty, My Little Bony, and the Hawaiian Punks took a deep breath, stretched their limbs, and set back to rebuilding their Wacky Universe from the disruptive chaos of the 2016-2017 intrusion.)

« Last Edit: April 01, 2017, 06:14:11 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

  • Posts: 339
Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #28 on: April 02, 2017, 06:22:42 PM »
Spring possibility...

(While thinking about a hypothetical subset, I thought of this title and figured I'd jot it down.)

"Burped Up Seeds"  (Parody of "Burpee Seeds.")

The front of the seed packet depicts a multi-headed, hydra-like carnivorous plant with insane eyes and nasty teeth.  It is very large and takes up 3/4 of the packet (to draw one's immediate attention to it.)  It also has a mass of tendril-like roots for legs.  In the background are rolling, country hills and maybe a farm.  Very sunny and pastoral.  Some of the plant's mouths are spewing up various objects: Flailing people, automobiles, a hog, a bathtub, a toilet, a fire hydrant, whatever.  Upon closer examination of the bottom of the packet, we see that the creature is actually standing in the center of small village with its root tendrils wrapped around houses, telephone poles, etc..  Essentially, it is the Godzilla of plants.

Possible taglines:
   "Genetically Engineered Venus Flytrap Hybrid."
   "Perfect for school science projects!"
   "A 4H winner!
   "Glows in the dark!"
   ("Bioluminescent!")
   "Leash included."
   "70 days to germ-mutation."
   "Eat your heart out, Monsanto!"

This could either be recent:



or very, very, very old school (with antique cars, etc.):



Postscript: And, no, it can't be a Politically Engineered Venus FlyTrump Hybrid with 7 Trump heads (and Trump hair) rampaging through D.C..
« Last Edit: April 02, 2017, 06:31:27 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

  • Posts: 339
Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #29 on: April 02, 2017, 06:27:56 PM »
2020 possibility...

(Please, somebody lobotomize me for this suggestion!)

"The Trumpinator"  (Parody of "The Terminator.")

Yes, Trump in leather jacket (with a little American flag pin,) sunglasses, etc..

Tagline, three (very scary) words (for America and WP collectors):  "I'll be back!"
« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 04:40:20 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline FourRoses

  • Posts: 494
Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #30 on: April 03, 2017, 06:25:32 AM »
Greeting cards from the 80's would be appealing. Hell, just about anything from the 80's would be wonderful. The only thing turning me off would be cards dealing with celebs past present or future.

Offline Baked Bears

  • Posts: 339
Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #31 on: April 03, 2017, 07:19:31 PM »
Greeting cards from the 80's would be appealing. Hell, just about anything from the 80's would be wonderful. The only thing turning me off would be cards dealing with celebs past present or future.

Surely you haven't had your fill of celebs?  Why, Topps has only just begun!

If you don't mind, could you please post a picture of one or two of the 80s greetings cards to which you are referring?

Thanks!

Offline Baked Bears

  • Posts: 339
Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #32 on: April 04, 2017, 04:38:34 PM »
Christmas possibility...

Jestle Coal House Cookie Dough  (Parody of "Nestle Toll House Cookie Dough.")

Upper 1/3 of Santa is located in lower right half of packet.  Behind his figure is a glass of milk and plate of cookies with mini coal chunks embedded in them.  Santa has just bitten into one of these Christmas cookie "treats" and is now shocked and distressed as he spews out his own cracked teeth along with black fragments of coal.  The rustic "house" logo could be changed into the rickety, wooden entrance of an old mine shaft (with a few rusty mine carts outside.)  The chocolate chip mini morsels could be changed into three mini chunks of coal.

   - 100% Real Anthracite Coal!
   
   - Cho-coal-ate Chip Cookie Dough

   - (Hey, kids!) Give Santa a taste of his own medicine!

   - Revenge is sweet!


« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 05:20:23 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Baked Bears

  • Posts: 339
Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #33 on: April 05, 2017, 06:42:28 PM »
Possibility...

(Or OS possibility, perhaps?  These things have been around for decades.)

"Tragic Rocks"  (Parody of "Magic Rocks".)

Box features colorful, segmented finger and thumb bones (pointy, and twisted, and creepy like a witch's talons) growing up from the tank's base.  Perhaps a bony hand could be clutching a worried shark struggling frantically to free itself.  The red rectangle in upper left corner could state: "Davy Jones' Locker."  The growth chart in the lower left corner could show a hand growing, and growing, then gripping a surprised pet cat by the throat (being that curious cats like to hang out by aquariums.)  Perhaps as an exercise in Sleuthing and Forensics, "hide" a very small portion (just enough to reveal) "My Little Bony" behind some stalagmites in the deep background.

"The formidable TRAGIC ROCKS"
"They rise from the grave in minutes!"

"Ages 10 - Death."

"Instant Skeleton Regeneration Kit"
"Create A Dismal Underwater Graveyard"
"Bones Grow to Unnatural Heights"

"Warning: Skin, Eye, and Life Irritant"










« Last Edit: April 06, 2017, 04:41:46 PM by Baked Bears »

Offline Swiski

  • Posts: 737
Re: Baked Bear's "Wordy" Ideas
« Reply #34 on: April 06, 2017, 08:35:00 AM »
Maybe you can rename this thread Word-ky Packages. That's a parody in itself.

 

anything