Author Topic: Gag Criticism and Variation  (Read 47581 times)

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Offline NationalSpittoon

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Gag Criticism and Variation
« on: September 12, 2016, 01:10:32 PM »
Diecuts #1 - Boredom's Coffee

Boredom's
Instant coffee
One cup puts you to sleep forever

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2016, 01:11:13 PM »
Diecuts #2 - Fearstone

Fearstone
You'll tire of our tires

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2016, 01:12:22 PM »
Diecuts #3 - Vicejoy

Vicejoy
Fungus Tip Cigarettes
Vicejoy's got the taste that rots
20 butts

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2016, 01:14:10 PM »
These are all making up for what we've done on the other posts. Time to discuss.

As we've said, the first two, Boredom's and Fearstone, could have better gags. They aren't really that funny, and don't fit that well. If you have good ideas, feel free to comment them as done on the other forum.


Offline bandaches

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2016, 06:44:35 PM »
These are all making up for what we've done on the other posts. Time to discuss.

As we've said, the first two, Boredom's and Fearstone, could have better gags. They aren't really that funny, and don't fit that well. If you have good ideas, feel free to comment them as done on the other forum.
I think to make this effective, we need the real product tag line to know what the gag writers were trying to align.

Viceroy's got the tastes that right.

Vicejoy's got the sinful taste that delights.
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Offline quas

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2016, 07:16:32 PM »
I think to make this effective, we need the real product tag line to know what the gag writers were trying to align.

Viceroy's got the tastes that right.

Vicejoy's got the sinful taste that delights.

I can't think of anything more suitable to "Vice Joy" but I might trim it a bit to:

Vicejoy's sinful taste delights.

That has the same "cadence" as Vicejoy's got the taste that's right.
Marc

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2016, 02:32:59 AM »
Diecuts #4 - Camals

Here's what happens when you smoke
Camals
Jerkish Blend
(Secret message on side) Smoking cigarettes may be hazardous to your health


Original product:
Camel
Turkish and Domestic Blend Cigarettes


I can see the gag here, and I guess 'jerkish' was the best rhyming word they could come up with. I can't really suggest anything here because there really isn't anything marginally wrong with the gag that I can frown upon.

Offline quas

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2016, 04:46:16 AM »
Diecuts #4 - Camals

Here's what happens when you smoke
Camals
Jerkish Blend
(Secret message on side) Smoking cigarettes may be hazardous to your health


Original product:
Camel
Turkish and Domestic Blend Cigarettes


I can see the gag here, and I guess 'jerkish' was the best rhyming word they could come up with. I can't really suggest anything here because there really isn't anything marginally wrong with the gag that I can frown upon.

Agree.
Marc

Offline quas

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #8 on: September 13, 2016, 04:51:25 AM »
I can't think of anything more suitable to "Vice Joy" but I might trim it a bit to:

Vicejoy's sinful taste delights.

That has the same "cadence" as Vicejoy's got the taste that's right.

Or could go a different route on this one, something like:

For those who enjoy having their lungs feel like they're in a vice


Ideally a shorter version of this would be better, but in any case I think it's more in line with the "tobacco is for jerks" theme of Camals.
Marc

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #9 on: September 13, 2016, 12:02:59 PM »
Or could go a different route on this one, something like:

For those who enjoy having their lungs feel like they're in a vice


Ideally a shorter version of this would be better, but in any case I think it's more in line with the "tobacco is for jerks" theme of Camals.

Makes your lungs in a vice? I guess the "joy" part is missing in that one.

Offline quas

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #10 on: September 13, 2016, 01:05:57 PM »
Makes your lungs in a vice? I guess the "joy" part is missing in that one.

That's why part of the quip is "For those who enjoy..."   Kinda lame on my part, I know, but jus' doin' the best I can....
Marc

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #11 on: September 13, 2016, 01:10:16 PM »
That's why part of the quip is "For those who enjoy..."   Kinda lame on my part, I know, but jus' doin' the best I can....

Or maybe they could make it into a phrase like "For those who vicejoy,..."

Offline quas

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #12 on: September 13, 2016, 01:30:33 PM »
This is not easy.  Now we kind of have a feel for what the Topps writers went through, and they had to deal with censorship as well!
Marc

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #13 on: September 13, 2016, 01:55:35 PM »
This is not easy.  Now we kind of have a feel for what the Topps writers went through, and they had to deal with censorship as well!

It isn't easy, comedy is far from it. But what we need to realize is that we've spend not even a week on it. It's not like Topps had a time restraint... They had years to come up with gags, so they could've made them better.

Offline Paul_Maul

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #14 on: September 13, 2016, 02:40:14 PM »
They had years to come up with gags, so they could've made them better.

How do you figure that? I'm sure the writers were under a lot of time pressure.

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2016, 02:54:40 PM »
How do you figure that? I'm sure the writers were under a lot of time pressure.

Do you really think so? I mean it's not like they already made it successful beforehand... I feel like 1973-1976 is when they were most pressured because of popularity and making sure to push out cards because of it.

Offline Paul_Maul

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2016, 03:03:51 PM »
I didn't realize you were referring specifically to the die cuts, I'm not sure what the situation was with that specific set.


Do you really think so? I mean it's not like they already made it successful beforehand... I feel like 1973-1976 is when they were most pressured because of popularity and making sure to push out cards because of it.

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2016, 03:04:34 PM »
I didn't realize you were referring specifically to the die cuts, I'm not sure what the situation was with that specific set.

I'm not either, either way is a possibility.

Offline bandaches

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2016, 04:55:09 PM »
This is not easy.  Now we kind of have a feel for what the Topps writers went through, and they had to deal with censorship as well!
I disagree, this is not rocket science and we are not being paid for this and have come up with better gags with ease.
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Offline bandaches

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #19 on: September 13, 2016, 05:01:59 PM »
How do you figure that? I'm sure the writers were under a lot of time pressure.
Who picked the products to make the gags?  Did the comic writers come up with product gag combos ie don't pick a product that doesn't lend itself to gags. Regardless watch how well we do.
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Offline bandaches

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #20 on: September 13, 2016, 05:03:50 PM »
Diecuts #4 - Camals

Here's what happens when you smoke
Camals
Jerkish Blend
(Secret message on side) Smoking cigarettes may be hazardous to your health


Original product:
Camel
Turkish and Domestic Blend Cigarettes


I can see the gag here, and I guess 'jerkish' was the best rhyming word they could come up with. I can't really suggest anything here because there really isn't anything marginally wrong with the gag that I can frown upon.
First off, I would never pick this product to spoof but assuming they had to, I would have shown a rope around the Camels neck being jerked up with the tagline just as it is.  See, from weak gag to meaningful gag in two seconds....
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Offline DrSushi

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #21 on: September 13, 2016, 07:29:10 PM »
First off, I would never pick this product to spoof but assuming they had to, I would have shown a rope around the Camels neck being jerked up with the tagline just as it is.  See, from weak gag to meaningful gag in two seconds....

That is definitely a better gag, nice! I seem to recall Jay explaining the Camal reference as having something to do with a politician in Egypt in the late 60's.

Offline bandaches

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #22 on: September 13, 2016, 07:43:13 PM »
That is definitely a better gag, nice! I seem to recall Jay explaining the Camal reference as having something to do with a politician in Egypt in the late 60's.
Well I am sure 99% of all grammar school kids who wackys were aimed as the target buying audience were all over tracking politicians in Egypt in the late 60s  :-\
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Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #23 on: September 14, 2016, 02:26:09 AM »
Diecuts #5 - Campy

Campy
Condemned
Spider Soup


Real Product
Campbells
Condensed
Tomato Soup


What I personally think what would've been funny here is saying "Made with Demented Tomatoes" But the real question is, what does campy mean? I do really like this card either way, so discuss!

Offline quas

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #24 on: September 14, 2016, 04:47:44 AM »
Diecuts #5 - Campy

Campy
Condemned
Spider Soup


Real Product
Campbells
Condensed
Tomato Soup


What I personally think what would've been funny here is saying "Made with Demented Tomatoes" But the real question is, what does campy mean? I do really like this card either way, so discuss!

Being so extreme that it has an amusing and sometimes perversely sophisticated appeal. Over the top and farcical, intentionally exaggerated so as not to be taken seriously. Found primarily in television, theatre and motion pictures, camp endeavors for satire and, for those who fully understand and appreciate the risible nature of its material, it's not surprising when it develops a cult following.
Marc

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #25 on: September 14, 2016, 12:04:08 PM »
Being so extreme that it has an amusing and sometimes perversely sophisticated appeal. Over the top and farcical, intentionally exaggerated so as not to be taken seriously. Found primarily in television, theatre and motion pictures, camp endeavors for satire and, for those who fully understand and appreciate the risible nature of its material, it's not surprising when it develops a cult following.

Hmm.. Sounds like a foreign language to me. I guess it sort of made sense in the last two words of that.

Offline Paul_Maul

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #26 on: September 14, 2016, 01:26:55 PM »
Hmm.. Sounds like a foreign language to me. I guess it sort of made sense in the last two words of that.

The Batman TV series from the 60s is an example.

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #27 on: September 14, 2016, 02:04:40 PM »
The Batman TV series from the 60s is an example.

Ah,

Offline quas

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #28 on: September 14, 2016, 02:22:04 PM »
The Batman TV series from the 60s is an example.

Perfect example.
Marc

Offline Beanball

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #29 on: September 14, 2016, 06:53:00 PM »
Perfect example.
               
I'm liking this thread. Star Wars would be a fine example. Do not think spider soup would taste all that good though. Anyone ever try it?

Offline bandaches

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #30 on: September 14, 2016, 07:34:21 PM »
Being so extreme that it has an amusing and sometimes perversely sophisticated appeal. Over the top and farcical, intentionally exaggerated so as not to be taken seriously. Found primarily in television, theatre and motion pictures, camp endeavors for satire and, for those who fully understand and appreciate the risible nature of its material, it's not surprising when it develops a cult following.
so how does that definition of Campy help explain this gag?
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Offline bandaches

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #31 on: September 14, 2016, 07:49:00 PM »
Diecuts #5 - Campy

Campy
Condemned
Spider Soup


Real Product
Campbells
Condensed
Tomato Soup


What I personally think what would've been funny here is saying "Made with Demented Tomatoes" But the real question is, what does campy mean? I do really like this card either way, so discuss!
Crampy
Constipated
Fiber soup

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Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #32 on: September 15, 2016, 02:14:22 AM »
Crampy
Constipated
Fiber soup

That's too good. How much thought did you put into that?
« Last Edit: September 15, 2016, 02:19:15 AM by NationalSpittoon »

Offline NationalSpittoon

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #33 on: September 15, 2016, 02:18:32 AM »
Diecuts #6 - Slum Maid

Slum Maid
Seedy
Raisins


Real Product
Sun Maid
Seedless
Raisins


They could've at least come up with something better than "seedy".. A lot of boxes and items never had pictures and they added them, so why not add another gag to this one.. Like "These will get you there."

Offline quas

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Re: Gag Criticism and Variation
« Reply #34 on: September 15, 2016, 05:09:17 AM »
Diecuts #6 - Slum Maid

Slum Maid
Seedy
Raisins


Real Product
Sun Maid
Seedless
Raisins


They could've at least come up with something better than "seedy".. A lot of boxes and items never had pictures and they added them, so why not add another gag to this one.. Like "These will get you there."

"Needless"?
Marc

 

anything